OI-27329
Update version: 1
Item number: OI-27329 (OI-27329-1, OI-27329-2)
Class Level: DUOUR (D)
Class level order, lowest to highest: UNUOR, DUOR, TRIBUOR, QATUR, CHIEF, HEAD
Containment and Usage Procedures: OI-27329-1 is to be kept in Standard Containment and Usage Room T-003, Cell 064, in the Temple of the Multiverses. The frame is to be affixed to the wall opening with Asen Slug Glue (which can be obtained from the Asen slug farm in the Temple menagerie should replacement glue be required, although care should be taken to ensure the Asen slugs are not harmed in the process of obtainment - please refer to Chief Menagerie Keeper OO2). No structural damage must be done to the door, including but not exclusive to damage done by: nails of all kinds, blades, lasers and lercorb patches. Access to the door is restricted to minimum D Level clearance, at the personnels' own risk. Otherwise, a permit signed by Chief Inspector OO3 is required in order to access the door. Permits can be requested in the main hall of the Temple. Tour groups coming to visit OI-27329 only require 1 permit per tour guide.
Description: OI-27329-1 is a standard door composed of Asen wood (see tailnotes for omniversal origin), with width 6675 quant-units (1 metre = 7500 quant-units) and height 15749 quant-units. It's material composition includes a door, frame, 3 dyrr-metal hinges (see tailnotes for omniversal origin), 1 door knob and 1 upper secondary lock. The door displaces matter into an infinitely large black space that is widely agreed upon to be the Outer Omniverse, the space outside of any -verse. The Outer Omniverse is not described in detail in this file; please refer to "On the Subject of the Outer Omniverse" by Xzav Renderson, Head Author of the Omniversal Organisation. The Omniversal Organisation Handbook also contains an article on the Outer Omniverse, which all personnel should have the knowledge of up to this point.
As of this update version OI-27327-1 is the only existing portal that can displace matter from a universe or multiverse into the Outer Omniverse. The property of this portal only applies to one side; the view through the other side is non-abnormal, acting as a normal door upon moving through it. As such, matter can pass through the door from either side without hindrance.
Another portal exists in the Outer Omniverse in place of the initial portal that was in the base location (that being Standard Containment and Usage Room T-003, Cell 064); this portal displaces matter into OI-27329-2.
OI-27329-2 is a room of dimensions 45000 by 56300 by 22500 quant-units. The walls, ceiling and floor are composed of a seemingly indestructible material, as are the paints and paper covering the surfaces. Contained in the room is 1 Asen wood table (see tailnotes for omniversal origin), 5 Asen wood chairs, 1 Asgard metal chair (see tailnotes for omniversal origin), 3 Asen wood bookshelves containing a total of 438 books, 2 working fygertoq glass lights (unknown omniversal origin) and 1 standard kitchen-furniture set consistent with those described in ancient Asen civilisation texts (See Addendum-27329-2 and Addendum-27329-3). A field similar to that of a gravitational field exists within the room, acting towards the floor. Organisms residing in OI-27329-2 remain under the effects of the outer Omniverse, including lacking the requirement of sustenance and that of sleep.
Acquirement information: OI-27329-1 was obtained on the planet of Asen, prior to its universe's destruction by [INFORMATION REDACTED: MINIMUM QATUR CLASS ACCESS ONLY ~ CHIEF INSPECTOR OO3 AND CHIEF INSPECTOR OO6]. OI-27329-1 was taken to the Temple of the Multiverses along with hundreds of thousands of other items and organisms from OO-✣✻✫-038-615 to be distributed to various museums and menageries in universes under the Omniversal Organisation's territory, but the door's unique properties were discovered upon opening it. The Heads of the Omniversal Organisation ordered it to be placed in standard containment and usage under the inspection of Chief Inspector OO3 to further divine its properties.
Addendum-27329-1: Omniversal sounds and items of intrigue recorded or obtained from the Outer Omniverse within the vicinity of OI-27329-1
Specialised machines were used to record the sounds due to the tendency of inferior information-storing machines to malfunction, and stray items were obtained using a large net composed of z𝒾ka fibres. The full list of sounds and items recorded or obtained can be provided by Chief Inspector OO3. This abridged version still remains in temporal order, the oldest being at the top.
- A faint buzzing produced by an unknown source.
- A loud explosion produced by an unknown source (suspected to be a synthetic bomb exploding) in air.
- The sound of a muck avalanche, and the calls of various ..̷.̷‘.̷~ from the planet ̵.̷.̶̡̿͆̀.̷.̶̡̿͆̀ (see tailnotes for omniversal origin).
- 6 green coloured bricks composed of an unknown, brittle stone.
- A song created using various synthetic natural-imitative instruments, and a voice speaking various phrases at irregular intervals in the Eutoiwy language (see tailnotes for omniversal origin) during the song, all of which are listed below:
- Oh damn.
- Continue?
- (inaudible) this is (inaudible)
- A native of the planet yyuoiyy (see tailnotes for universe origin) speaking in the ioquyy language: "…Easteros is in danger. The great summer is (inaudible). We will not let (inaudible) and be forgotten… (inaudible)"
- fine dust amounting to 1720 yatg-units of mass, containing silicon-based organic material.
- Humming produced by an unknown source (assumed to be a sentient organism), and slow tempo music from a fibre-string instrument (see tailnotes for hypothesised omniversal origins).
- A speaker of the planet Goliubor (see tailnotes for universe origin) speaking in the Elfin language: "To die, Drogo? That is, I’m afraid, something that will not come to pass for a great many years. Too few of your kind yet still live in these times… (inaudible)"
- A white limb bone of unknown origin (see tailnotes for hypothesised omniversal origins). Its colour changes to blue at irregular intervals, entering a state in which most matter can pass through it with little resistance. While in this blue state, it gains the ability to break apart matter that passes through it, including organic matter, with little to no force required.
- A faint whirring sound produced by an unknown source (suspected to be a technological machine), and faint clicks at irregular intervals.
- A giant living qastoday-like organism endemic to the outer Omniverse. Its rough, black scales were opaque to all electromagnetic waves and thus its intelligence could not be measured - the only ways it could be observed through sight were by the dirt upon its back and it's bright eyes. The organism approached OOI-27329-1 slowly and made no intention to attack, although various sections of its long body collided with the door multiple times in an effort to squeeze through the opening. The organism was not liquidated and was allowed to leave the vicinity unharmed.
- A native of the planet Mars (see tailnotes for universe origin) speaking in the Hiyitish language: "What if, there was a secret society on Deimos whose job was to ensure that weird and supernatural things on Mars are kept secret, what if? An… (inaudible) contained and protected abnormal things and made sure they never saw the light of day. Wouldn't that be an interesting story, wouldn't that?"
- A dead marmanmahmua from the planet makmaomao (see tailnotes for omniversal origin).
To visitors of the Organisation or casual readers of this file, let it be known that the existence of objects and the production of sound in the Outer Omniverse is normal and to be expected, although as of this update version the answer to how such objects and sounds come to appear is not known. Please refer to "On the Subject of the Outer Omniverse" by Xzav Renderson for more information.
Addendum-27329-2: Contents of intrigue in the bookshelves in OI-27329-2
- 3 copies of "The Willow of Understanding" printed in the Asen language (see tailnotes for omniversal origin).
- 1 copy of "The Willow of Understanding" written in the Asen language. The letters are written poorly in ink, as if by a young child.
- The full series of "The Wizard and the 4.1 Trubbles", all 325 books printed in the Asen language.
- 1 book containing 200 pages full of simple drawings characteristic of a smiling face.
- 1 copy of "How to survive in extreme conditions: a guide by Qoiv Renderson"
- 1 book containing 15 pages full of the repeated phrase in the Asen language, "I will not enter equilibrium".
- 8 sheets of blank standard paper.
- 1 copy of the Holy Oorkid in the Asen language (see tailnotes for omniversal origin).
- 1 crumpled sheet of paper reading "I saw the Interseason" in the English language (see tailnotes for omniversal origin).
- 1 empty photo album.
- 1 book that disintegrated upon contact; the dust that remained was unfortunately disposed of.
Addendum-27329-3: Contents of intrigue on the table in OI-27329-2
The table had unsteady supports, but the Heads of the Omniversal Organisation did not deem it necessary to transfer the items on it to a more stable one. This list is not in any specific order.
- 1 tuwao flower of the planet Asen, dead (implying it had died before entering the Outer Omniverse)
- 1 daisy flower of the planet Melting Isle, alive in a pot
- 1 box of children's toys, one half-eaten
- 2 printed paper signs, both reading "Special Bunker in Case of Cataclysmic Events"
- 5 wooden and 2 plastic pencils, all of them blunt and sharpened to stubs
- 1 diary leather-bound by cow leather from the planet Asen (see Addendum-27329-4)
- 1 printed sheet of card, named "Survival Guide to travelling the Multiverses"
Addendum-27329-4: The contents of the diary in OI-27329-2
Let it be warned to psychologically sensitive readers that the following addendum may contain emotionally distressing information.
[INFORMATION REDACTED: MINIMUM QATUR CLASS ACCESS ONLY ~ CHIEF INSPECTOR OO3 AND CHIEF INSPECTOR OO6]
Addendum-27329-5: The contents of "Survival Guide to travelling the Multiverses" in OI-27329-2
The guide found in OI-27329-2 is not affiliated with the Omniversal Organisation. Please refer to the pamphlet "A Survival guide to travelling the central Multiverses" by Xzav Renderson, Head Author of the Omniversal Organisation, if one is looking for the Organisation's guide.
Survival Guide to travelling the Multiverses
When touring the amazing infinities of a multiverse, you will more often than not be forced to brave gruelling conditions, encounter dangerous denizens or face powerful civilisations that have existed for thousands if not millions of years. This quaint guide will help you remember the basics when puttering through on your average transversal campervan.
1. KEEP TO THE TRADE ROUTES - Among the most well-worn inter-universal (and perhaps even inter-multiversal) highways that exist are the trade routes. These roads are primarily used by empires, companies and traders to transport goods and services across the universes, and often require no toll to use. Pirates and other thieves are very much uncommon along these routes, as the consequences are high should they be captured by a ship that could easily take them to the nearest multiversal outpost for a reward. It's quite often that trade routes don't exactly send you straight to your target destination, but commercial transversal vehicles will have most trade routes programmed into their navigation, so you will have no problem finding the ones that suite your needs best.
2. SECURE ENERGY PROVISIONS - This is often the first thing you think of before even deciding to leave your universe, but storing your sources of energy safely is the most important step of your plans so we're mentioning it anyway. Organic solids, liquids and gases should all be kept in stable conditions no matter the circumstance, and inorganic needs (such as krikton, garbular or oxygen) should be kept at the correct concentrations at all times. Read your vehicle's manual for any information about storing energy provisions if you need more advice.
3. FUEL UP BEFORE LONG JOURNEYS - Just like yourself, your ship is going to need it's sustenance as well. We will not get bogged down on hyper-string inflation or delve into the politics of the most efficient fuel, but it would not be prudent not to give any advice at all. Think about which fuels you can afford, and make your decisions accordingly; you do not want to squander your finances and find you have precious little left to spend on everything else during your travels!
4. STUDY THE SURROUNDINGS - Research wherever you plan on travelling through with utmost precision. It goes without saying, shooting yourself blindly into the great unknown is barely a good plan. Understand the risks and benefits, work out a plausible route and do everything you can to ensure nothing you see will be a surprise to you. Of course, there are an infinite number of variables involved when cruising through the expanses of the myriad, but knowing what is certain in your surroundings will give you less to worry about when driving your transversal van.
5. IF IN DOUBT, FLEE - You never know if a nearby ship could be a pirate gang, or if a passing mass of rock is actually a meteor magnet. When you observe something you don't know or understand, more often than not it is something dangerous, especially if you are not travelling on an inter-universal highway. Unless you are absolutely sure you know what you are doing, turn away from any potential threats.
6. DANGER OF THE KNOWN - While you must certainly be wary of that which is unknown, there are a handful of known entities that you should be aware of before setting off too. Although you will probably have to research these yourself in one of the libraries closest to your location, this guide can give you a few pointers on the common ones. The Qastoday are a rare species of body-scaled organisms that appear to be spindly long lines from a distance while travelling through a multiverse; these monsters could easily crush a ship between their limbless bodies, so steer clear. The speeedir-pollur are a sapient species of eight-legged creatures that regularly prey on hapless ships that enter their multiversal territories; these territories can merely be avoided to negate the risk of their attack, and multiversal outposts that are within the vicinity of such territories will have guidelines to protect travellers. Finally, any company, territory, organisation or group that is affiliated with the phrase "Secure, Contain and Protect" or even "SCP" should be invariably avoided; being a common omniversal parallel, any group in any universe that has a motto or mission as this phrase is usually xenophobic, excessively hostile and will see anything different from themselves as something to capture or incarcerate for indefinite periods of time.
And that is all! With enough luck you should encounter nothing out of the ordinary during your travels the multiverses. May the light forever shine upon your path of destiny.
Addendum-27329-6: A notice from Chief Inspector OO6
It has come to my attention that many readers are concerned about the information redactions in this file, and that it is unusual for a file of class level so low to have minimum Qatur class access sections. It has also come to my attention that some have had the audacity to formulate unrealistic hypotheses as to the reasons for these redactions; as leader of the Chief Inspectors, I am making this notice as a response to these theories.
The unredacted information in the Acquirement Information section is completely true, and any theories speaking otherwise are completely unfounded. Had the door been in any way connected with the destruction of the planet Asen's universe, this entire file would be placed under Qatur class access. The diary found in OI-27329-2 does not have any information on how the universe was destroyed, although it certainly refers to it. The Chiefs of the Organisation have deemed it necessary to place the contents of the diary under Qatur class access and, after receiving permission from the Heads, have done so. We did not fabricate the existence of the survival guide for the sole purpose of "distracting readers from a conspiracy theory". We do not know what the Interseason is. And anyone from this point onwards who mentions any supposed connection between OI-27329 and the Tablet of 4612 will be found and liquidated; this blatant lie has been spread for far too long.
~ Chief Inspector OO6
Stealing the physical file from the organisation nearly cost me my life. Undoubtedly they have digital copies of this file, but having the physical form brings me joy to know that a file from the Omniversal Organisation is coming to rest in the library. I do not understand most of what is said here, but I know there must be a relation between this door and whatever those monsters are hiding. I must investigate further in this matter. Whatever happens from now, only remember that the organisation is not the benevolent society of collection and love that it makes itself out to be; it is an empire of cruelty, it's actions sending shockwaves of disorder into the multiverses. I will be donating more books and propaganda from the organisation if I'm able to obtain them, to further shine light into the organisation's ruthless rule.
- The Donator