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New York’s new regent, Eren Monroe: Playboy, 'devout' Maronite Christian, 'Son of Merit' and third in the line of despots.
Date: 12 August 2311
Special Article by
Khalil Umar Rehman
| Eren Monroe Eren Monroe Official |
••• |
This is drawn by me based on a pic of me and dad when I was just a year old, maybe in the 2290s at the Cathedral of Our Lady of New York. My ancestors were Maronite Christians, maybe from Beirut who fled to New York after the war in 2062, they carried the glass cross you can see behind. I know I may not look Lebanese enough but dad drilled our heritage inside me, “Son, never forget, we Maronites endure.” I will endure dad. RIP (2243-2311)
10:34 AM · 04/09/2311 · 2M Views
201K Comments · 6K Quotes · 60K Likes
Today, the New York Council of Governors has selected Eren Monroe, the 21-year-old scion of the Monroe family, as the new Regent of State of New York, just a day after he became CEO of Washington-Helix Biotech Company, one of the members of Ten Heavenly Corporates. Ethan Monroe, Eren’s father and previous regent, died on 4 August and yesterday was buried at the Cathedral of Our Lady of Beirut in the Monroe family cemetery.
There is no need to say how Ethan Monroe was; he dressed as a ‘defender of Christian faith’ while ordering the 16 October massacre at New Jersey, ironically led by Bishop James Ducat of the city against the new slash in living wages. The defender of America who bullied the Californian Republic into giving up our journalist and friend, Ismail Hani, who was executed for a hit piece against him. You cannot praise the man enough.
But what about his son?
Who is Eren?
Eren is fresh in politics but already has a history.
He was born to Ethan and Sally Monroe on 17 July 2990, baptized as Harun Hadad Billah, his Arabic name which is preferred within the Long Island Lebanese community and the Maronite Church. After loosing his mother due to childbirth complications as reported, Ethan carried him everywhere he went till he turned 13; the official narrative is that he was trying to raise Eren while under pressure of work, and this shows the qualities of an ideal father, though some also believed that he carried Eren because he believed that this may stop anyone from assassinating him unless they wanted to kill the baby too.
Eren studied at Eton from 13 to 16 years of age before getting into New York University, doing a bachelor's in maths. Officially he is referred to by his peers as ‘a gifted student under the guidance of Neo-Confucius', though allegations have surfaced on the Net by a whistleblower from the university on the professors being forced to award him with A grade under the threat of incarceration. We are unable to confirm this detail. He dropped out by the age of 19 and did a diploma on modern art at a small art academy in Austin.
A Playboy of Controversies
It is no surprise that Eren is a playboy like Ethan, latter being famous for having relationships with multiple girls from neo-aristocratic families in his younger days. However, what makes Eren different is that he is also famous for his controversial takes on social media.
His first controversial post came in 2304 at the age of 14 when he posted a fifteen-minute-long 3D film he made on blender, glorifying the First Siege of Azizpol as MAMMO frigates firebombed the Centaurian city in a bid to quell the slaves, ending with a MAMMO victory. This, of course, was celebrated by Net, or at least those who are fearful of the Ten, but outside Earth, it was decried by human rights activists as ‘genocide apologia'. The said media contains contents which can be disturbing to some of our readers thus we will not show it. However, the post containing it in Cyber Town Hall is still up, currently sitting up with 30 million likes despite the app censoring video footage of brutality committed by militias affiliated with the Ten as 'Community Guidelines Violations' despite all necessary editing being done to keep it non-triggering.
His posts between 2304 and 2309 were filled with vitriol against sovereignty movements in the colonies and anti-Mars propaganda, one of his tweets calling Martians savages who ‘deserved to be glassed’.
| Eren Monroe Eren Monroe Official |
••• |
Another Martian terrorist tried to attack Earth, ideally we should glass the planet and start over again but we are a moral civilization, not like Martians who practice cannibalism to survive. Like their ancestors were the most meritorious people of all, scientists, engineers, statesmen! And yet they have devolved into savagery, I say we must invade Mars and reintroduce civilization to them.
2:30 PM · 22/10/2306 · 1.2M Views
1M Comments · 60K Quotes · 409K Likes
| Eren Monroe Eren Monroe Official |
••• |
‘Waah, my peasant revolt got crushed in the belt by MAMMON’, SHUT THE FUCK UP. You killed Xi Lang and Haidar Ali, those two had families and kids and why, because they told you lazy fucks to work a double shift. ‘But but, two thousand belters died in that collapse’, I wished two millions had died, unmeritorious bastards. Don’t you see difference between us, you kill one of us we will obliterate an entire lineage of yours, if you stupid donkeys still have fucking brains, go back to work.
2:30 PM · 28/06/2307 · 60M Views
19M Comments · 2M Quotes · 15M Likes
However, his 'magnum opus' was just posted a week before his father’s death when he posted his ‘beach vacation’ trips in Alexandria, praising the redevelopment program which, by the way, included mass eviction of the population to ‘New Cairo’, the slum built outside the Egyptian capital, and rebuilding the city as a ‘strategic tourist attractor’.
| Eren Monroe Eren Monroe Official |
••• |
At Alexandria bros. This place rocks, the Alexandria redevelopment project outdid itself. I last visited here for my fourteenth birthday and what a shithole it was, crowd, dust, crumbling infrastructure, the horror. Now it is a paradise with clean roads, pristine beaches, a small population of six thousand and infrastructure true to the city Alexander the Great built, I give it five stars, do visit Egypt.
12:23 PM · 26/07/2311 · 12M Views
60K Comments · 3K Quotes · 45K Likes
When Eren seemingly learnt about the protests at New Cairo, he dismissed them as 'unmeritorious leeches crying about not getting enough gibs'. He later replied to an account, @Shahmukhi asking him to show some sympathy. Eren responded to him with the following tweet.
| Eren Monroe Eren Monroe Official |
••• |
@Shahmukhi Who the fuck cares? These freeloaders destroyed the city of Alexander with their 'gib me or else I will burn' shit. I have seen the city before, beggers, dust, swines, shanty towns and pigpens called schools, yuck. They should not even get those homes. Egyptian government is truly great for accommodating to these locusts, if I was the president, they would be roaming the desert now like Israelites did, except there is no Manna for them like there aren't pearls for swines!
12:23 PM · 26/07/2311 · 30M Views
2.3M Comments · 1M Quotes · 23K Likes
Later, @Shahmukhi was banned for breaking 'Terms and Conditions' of the site.
A Regency barely afloat
Is Eren competent? Insiders in Helix say no; even Harold Marcion, Ethan’s right-hand man, is reportedly frustrated with the boy’s incompetent and chalant behaviour. Eren seemingly is busier tracing his unnamed boyfriend’s genealogy than the company’s falling share. There is no secret that Helix has been falling in Augment markets ever since Martian foundries flooded the market with cheap and durable augments. The Centauri system is too far away for any meaningful export, and some experts believe that if this trajectory continued, Helix may get booted out of the Ten, which is unheard of.
@Mammondisrespector, a claimed employee of MAMMO and close aide of MAMMO CEO 'Senior' Juan Harnandez, infamous for releasing various footages and evidence of warcrimes and other criminal activities committed by MAMMO posted a thread a day after Ethan died, talking about reaction from MAMMO CEO during which he talked about Eren, here are those parts of the thread.
| Mammondisrespector Mammondisrespector |
••• |
6/n I know releasing tea for a kid is bad, but holy fuck this dude is done before even getting up. So yeah, you know Helix is bleeding money for a long time, like so much that Ethan once was hounded out of the meeting by Senior. Yeah, this guy is bring a whole new trouble. Seemingly unlike his dad, this guy is all about fucking guys and draining money. Like he after getting out of art school made a 3D sci fi film which tanked so hard his dad had to force all gringo schools to play them on school film weekends just to cheer him up.
3:23 PM · 05/04/2311 · 100M Views
12M Comments · 8M Quotes · 3M Likes
| Mammondisrespector Mammondisrespector |
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7/n He also spent his 20th year trying to ‘find himself’ with some boyfriend and ended up burning 600 million Yuans, I don’t know how you spend that much in a year. His lifestyle at that time was so luxurious that Calligua would blush and his dad had to pull the plug. Senior Juan personally hate this about Eren, I mean his entire shitick is being an aesthetic techno-buddhist or something.
3:23 PM · 05/04/2311 · 97M Views
12M Comments · 8M Quotes · 3M Likes
| Mammondisrespector Mammondisrespector |
••• |
8/n What am I yapping about? Eren, when he enters Constantinople, is going to face massive resistance, if not outright bullying. Juan and other devilkin aren't excited about Eren, especially how he says things on the net they whisper to each other. They would had tolerated if Helix was printing money, but since only cash they show is from all companies under their fief, they are in no mood to play well with the kid. Helix is gonna burn down one day, and the second it happens Eren either is going to get kicked out or end up buried in Hagia Sophia. So yeah, it is ovarida for him.
3:25 PM · 05/04/2311 · 110M Views
12M Comments · 8M Quotes · 3M Likes
Geopolitical experts believe that Helix getting kicked out of the Ten may put American states and Canada in a precarious situation, as currently no company in the region is strong enough to replace Helix, and the real contender is the Luna Syndicate on the Moon.
Many Americans and Canadians fear that if the Monroe family falls, the region may immediately become a backwater of Earth, with what investments are being brought by others of the Ten drying up, metaphorically dropping a Project Sundial bomb on the continent's economy and may even open it up to being colonised by MAMMO. It is already well known that several smaller mining companies under MAMMO are actively lobbying Texan Senate to gain mining rights, a MAMMO rule in the region may end up removing all resistance from the population.
In a way, the people of America Proper now find themselves in a precarious position; a new ruler have ascended whose actions may cause the population to rebel against him, but his downfall may also end up causing damnation for their future generations.
For now though, Eren, in his first act as the regent, is currently in Constantinople for the World Cup in support for NYC Challengers.
Conclusion
At the end, there is no certainty if Eren will remain like this or will actually prove himself to be a capable ruler; the same thing was said about Senior Juan when he took over MAMMO in midst of the Centauri almost gaining their independence in the 2260s, only for him to bomb them into submission. Maybe Eren will pull the same trick.
We would end with this tweet from him on the day of his ascension.
| Regent Eren Monroe (✓) Eren Monroe Official |
••• |
I am happy to be your regent, I have swore, both on Peshitta and the word of the Neo-Confucius, to lead this City-Nation as best I can, My plans include a roadmap to revitalize the Maronite heritage of the city, attract more investment from fellow American nations and Latin states and to finally clean up the ruins of Washington DC, tax breaks will be offered to anyone who resettle in the city. We will make Washington DC lively again!
I hope my term will be the greatest one in our golden age, a golden age of golden ages.
10:34 AM · 12/08/2311 · 80M Views
7M Comments · 4M Quotes · 40M Likes
Khalil Umar Rehman is a geopolitical expert from Free University of Mars, being an expert on Earth affairs. He currently teaches at the Conflict and Peace Studies Centre at Sultan Mehmet College in Voskani, Mars.
