Okay, so. I may not be the best person here to give any clear review of this but— here I go!
There's points where the quotations aren't there for the dialogue.
"The fireworks were going off, repeatedly, for hours and hours!
The townspeople did not think the fireworks would ever stop, and they were right! Sleepless nights, restless days, the fireworks stopped
everything!But eventually…
The townspeople got used to them
So used to them they didn't even really agknowledge their existence!
The fireworks weren't causing problems to the atmosphere or anything.
But in the end, everybody ignored the fireworks, whether they liked it or not!
One day, the fireworks stopped. But nobody noticed.
Moral of the sto-"
I can kinda see what you were trying to go for here. It looks like you were trying to make one of the characters' dialogue connected but continue that 'one line at a time' format. It confused me at first, to be honest. It seemed like, to me at least, you had forgotten to add in quotations on certain lines and made it more difficult to understand. I had to go back a few times to see this. I would suggest making that one line if you can, to avoid confusion.
So used to them they didn't even really agknowledge their existence!
Spelling error— acknowledged*
"Wait, if i blank my mind, I can tell if the fireworks even exist!"
I… uhm… what? This was a bit awkward to read. Is he saying that if he blanks his mind he will suddenly know whether the fireworks exist? How did he come across this kind of information? Was it just a huge epiphany? Also, the 'i' isn't capitalized.
Alright, so! I might have missed a few points here and there but overall, I don't think it's finished. Beyond the aforementioned points I have made here, some of text seems like it could do with a little work. I find that some of the phrasing is a bit strange, but that could just be me! The story as a whole doesn't get my attention or really catch my interest. It's just a boy who hears about forgotten fireworks, goes to look for them, find them and ends up not doing… anything about it at all? I'm not exactly understanding the point if there is one.
Feel free to take or leave anything I say here. I'm very new, here. I've hardly lurked around and I haven't published anything of my own. I don't recommend taking anything I say as sound advice.
Also, I feel like I should also mention that there is a place in the forums1 that you can post your sandbox to for critiques. Then again, I'm not even sure if anyone cares how you want your feedback.
Fazed, but not broken. Never broken.
