Jack Manganese

Shelf North 01A, dedicated to the False Swedenborg

The steady gaze of the False Swedenborg beholds the 210 works contained on this shelf. Devoted Wanderers have discovered 1 falsehoods contained within these works.


Concerning the False Swedenborg

In 558, tomes authored by an individual or collective, writing voluminously under the pseudonym Emanuel Swedenborg, began to enter into the collections of the Library. The collected eight hundred forty-three thousand volumes focused on the outcome of the War of Spanish Succession and its role in defining a new branch of metaphysics based on rhombuses. For many years, the Swedenborg volumes were treated as a reliable, if esoteric, authority on metaphysics and unwritten history2. As is the case with temporal beings, the lack of correlation between the predictions of the False Swedenborg and baseline reality did not appear to cause any concerns regarding his veracity. It was not until nearly twelve hundred years later, with the birth and eventual death of the actual Emanuel Swedenborg that the earlier writings were definitively attributed to “the False Swedenborg3." Attempts to discern the nature of this False Swedenborg or Swedensborg have proven unsuccessful4.

Despite the demonstrably incorrect and thoroughly useless nature of the False Swedenborg’s writings, their sheer volume and diversity of size has given them a new, practical dimension. Now, when a table wobbles perilously, Appendix C of De Coniuratione Caules is there to bridge the chasm between leg and floor. When a patron requires a stepladder, but there are none to be found, they may climb atop the lofty peaks of Malitia Tonstrina to retrieve the desired items. Although other thinkers may discern the movement of the stars or correctly spell the word "restaurant," it is the work of the person or persons masquerading as Emmanuel Swedenborg that truly allows the Library to function.

For the unexpected uses of your work, False Swedenborg, we remember you.

1: This bust is the only known likeness of the False Swedenborg, based upon the exceedingly precise skull measurements the author provides for himself throughout the fifteenth and nineteenth volumes of De Augustus Usus Lapilli. The utter lack of resemblance to Emmanuel Swedenborg is startling.
2: It is rumored that, upon reading the works of the False Swedenborg, the Library patron known only as "Hashim al-Muqanna" began his ill-advised attempt to unseat Muhammad as the Seal of the Prophets. For more information, please refer to Ibbik, 283 and Crane, 992.
3: In addition to wrongly predicting the continued Hapsburg reign over Spain well into the 23rd century, the False Swedenborg also incorrectly addressed several aspects of the true Swedenborg’s life, including date of birth, number of children, and country of origin.
4: A small number of Wanderers have chosen to devote their lives to discovering the identity of the False Swedenborg. Due to mutual infighting and recrimination, the various factions of Swedensborg Wanderers refuse to share information. However, let it be known for all those who would seek to uncover such information that the Library has definitively ascertained that the False Swedenborg is not the True Swedenborg of another, dying dimension, nor magician William E. Robinson. Requests from Archivists regarding these lines of inquiry will be ignored.

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