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Excerpt from a United Nations report delivered to the Council on Anomalous Affairs in 1947

Reports from Soviet authorities indicate widespread slaughter of non-human hominoids (ex. Homo erectus, H. neanderthalensis) from both sides. Several German leaders in Operation Barbarossa practiced systematic extermination of non-human hominoids as part of Nazi ideology; the Soviets, despite their complicity in the slaughter, at least do not appear to have had a policy of deliberate extermination.

Members of non-human hominoid species we have managed to establish communications with are understandably suspicious of the United Nation’s motives, but upon explanation, wish for formal recognition as having rights equal to H. sapien, economic assistance, and the trial of several particularly notorious military leaders as war criminals.

We still have not managed to establish diplomatic relations with several insurgent movements (led by the H. neanderthalensis group Puv-ul) in Siberia, who are conducting a guerrilla warPun intended against humans in the area in revenge for what they term as “The Thirty Years of Sorrow.” All attempts at negotiation have failed; though neutral meditators have had some success with managing to contact them, the United Nations is at this point unable to pursue any meaningful attempts at brokering peace.

While so far, Puv-ul has not harmed civilians (and, indeed, the leaders have spoken out against the indiscriminate killing of civilians), increasing tensions raise the fear that they will do so.


Retrieved GOC Internal Memo

Unfortunately, the recent actions of Puv-ul proves that they can’t be trusted, and as we all know they are essentially indistinguishable from any other hominoid until they blow your brains out. The United Nations has tried and failed to deal with Puv-ul, so we will—we’ll give them the war they want.

All known Puv-ul sympathizers and members are to be killed on sight. All unidentified confirmed non-human hominids are to be considered enemy combatants and treated as such.

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