Hey
Hey you.
You look like you might be a bit lost. Can’t blame you, the shops a bit poorly organized. I’d sort it out but the shelves always go behind my back. How did you find yourself here, perchance? No, don’t answer yet, let me guess. You feel a need, a longing within you, something you need to do. Duty, perhaps? Honor? No matter. I have something you need; I can feel it in my bones.
Do you need a weapon? A sword of destiny? I got plenty of those. Or resurrection, got plenty of methods for that, like this locket of revivification. Can bring back anyone, as long as it hasn’t been too long, and you don’t quite mind them being… different. Or maybe you just need to spice up your ordinary life? I got lots of things for that, like this paperweight that is secretly a dragon egg, or a haunted doll. Great deals on haunted dolls, got more of them than we know what to do with! Or maybe something more mundane, like this Well of a thousand spiders? Lovely piece for the garden. Doesn’t matter what object will bring meaning, or fulfillment, or whatever to you, I guarantee we have it.
You see, my friend (can I call you my friend?), ill let you in on a secret. This humble little shop exists in a sort of liminal space, between realms. People like you, who need something in your life, you find yourself here, and the place that can fulfill your ever desire. At profit, of course. Cant operate a business without some kind of take, be it currency or souls. Though I suppose if you trade with it its all currency. Never was one for monetary philosophy. But I digress, I haven’t even told you about our incentives! We have a rewards card now, you can accumulate and spend karma for unique daily deals! Or, special offer, today only, every purchase comes with a free keychain depicting one of the nine secrets of the universe! Hell, I’ll even knock the price of the Well to 50%.
So, what can I do you for?
Oh. The bathroom? Down the hall to the left, keys on the hook here.
Christ. Every time. Should start charging for the privilege.