note: this is a transcription of varies away messages from the phone of an old fellow that I used to live next to. I say used to because on November 18th 2019, he sadly passed away. in his will, he only asked that his away messages be transcribed for "historical use"
hello, you've reached the phone of the Illustrious Korue Ajain. please leave your name and number and I might get back to you. [BEEP]
hello? [pause] oh, hi! how have you been [longer pause] oh, me? I've been doing well and am acually not talking to you right now. [BEEP]
hello, you've reached the phone of Korue Ajain, I am unable to pick up right now due to my traveling through time. please leave your name and number and I will get back to you last week.[BEEP]
hello. I am not able to answer the ph-e̶̦̓m̸̕͜b̶͇̑r̷̳̽â̴̖c̷͉̔e̸͙͝ ̴̬̏t̷̳͌h̷̻̕e̴̛̗ ̷̌ͅv̷͓́ò̵̠i̶̡̅d̵̝̚ e̴̡̢̯͖͙̗̖̺̅̒̈̏̈́̋̇͗̓͂̈͑̔͋̚͜m̶̢̢̡̻̼͚̤̘̞̖̹̬̱̫̞̞̭̣͍̳̑̽̇͆̓͂͊̿̔̆̐̂͋͒̒͗̓̃̔̈̿̒͌̌̕͜͝ͅb̸̧̟̝͙̘͓̻̖̻̪̣̽̀̈́͆̀͜͝ͅr̶̦̍͐̔́̑͂̿̋̐͂̇̽͗̀͝͝ȧ̸̡͈̜̙̲͔̱̖͝͝ç̴̟̥̖̆́̂̉͂̉͛̽̽͐̔̾̉͂͑̏̑̌͒͐͗̽̽͋́̈́̕ͅé̷͙̝͎̝̩̰͖̹̥̳͔̜̓̊̈́ͅ ̴̧̻͈͕̥͉̲͕͔͚̺̪̣̫͙̞̙̜̳͇̝͚͔̠̣̣̀̎͋͒̌͛̈́͠ͅṭ̶̡̡̪͕͓̣̘̦̰͙͚̩̻͖̬̂̓̀̂͂͊̀̿̊̍̃h̴̲̦̭̜̤͑̑̎͊͆̌͒̊̌̀̋͊̃̊͗̏̾͘͘͝ͅe̶̳͓̼̎͒̈͒̾͋̎̅͗̈͐͊̇̽̑͛͒̓̽͊͘͘͝͝͝͠ ̵̧̯̟̝͈̲̥̘̠̪̪͎͎̫̺̽̈́̌̿͗̉̑̈́̈́́͌̆̍̓̇̄͗̕͘͝͝v̸̡̱̟̻̹̻̱̰͎̞̘͉̫̳̱͈̞̹͚͎̏̐̊̊̋̓̅͌̊͗̒̎͑͌̒̿̈́̇͋̄̚̚͜͜͝ͅo̷̧̢̩͎͙͉̭̼̘͇̎̊͑͜i̸̞̤̭̬͆ḑ̸̭̭̤̲͙̘͎̪͙̝̗̹̂̈́͌̀̾͆̈́̑̐̃̿̈̀͌͝͠͠. [BEEP]
hello, you've reached the phone of the Illustrious Korue Ajain. please leave your name and number. my apologies if you called a few weeks ago. I had a bit of a cough. [BEEP]
[lawnmower noises I think?] oh shit, is this thing on… drat this thing… geez [BEEP]
you have reached the phone of Korue Ajain. I am currently on vacation. please leave your name and number, and I will get back to you [BEEP]
hi, I am currently in hiding from the Foundation. please just don't call, also you didn't hear this [BEEP]
[running] they found me… I don't know how… I might not ever respond… [sirens] remember… you didn't hear this [BEEP]
hello, this is Korue Ajain. please leave your name and number and I will get back to you later.