- Green Sands of Exodus
- Harvey Turnial and Patient X
- Harvey Turnial and The Aging Man
- Harvey Ternal and The patron Goddess of Measurements
- Title 2
When we came, we came with open hearts and joyous tongues.
We were welcomed, but with closed arms and scattered iron shavings in the dirt.
We contributed, we planted, with smith'd, we harvested, we forged, we sold, we celebrated.
Then their two tyrants came. At first, we accepted them in good faith. We were guests trying to become members.
The tyrants went to work. With demeanours unstable and warhammers unfurled, we first watched as they crushed the hands of those who came before in front of us.
We froze. We relaxed. Then one day the tyrants reminded us they were in control, and sought capitulation. Like Uti'd, we exposed our side. And for a while, they took it as a show of sublimation.
We talked, we argued, we talked, we voted, we talked
And as we talked, one of the Tyrants, while letting all know who was in control, killed one of our own
The talking ceased, the planting ceased, the smithing ceased.
We had gone through this before, we refused to be like Tu'in on the coast
We did not choose surrender
We did not choose war
We simply picked up what we could carry and left.
We choose the desert to the wrath of their insane judges
We choose the sands to the injustice of those without checks
We choose the hot winds, blistering our blue scales, then stay another moment on that interior rolling coast.
It is my only hope that this message reaches you Trx-Un. Do not seek us. If we find safe harbor, I will send one of the seven winged rogats to summon you.
Notes from Dr. Ternal.
Note: Since I never took this being in as a patient, doctor-patient confidentiality is not applicable here. Due to the dangers posed by this being, this file was released in order to protect others who may ether encounter, or may attempt to work with this being. Henceforth the name of the patient is Patient X due to the being in question never giving out its name.
Patient information: Patient X is an unknown life form found on one of the many worlds on the ways to the library. Patient X was initially encountered 30 years ago as of the time of this recording by members of the Serpent’s hand. Patient X subsequently killed all but two members of that particular expedition. The remaining members however have retrieved information concerning Patient X via USB stick that indicate that Patient X possesses a variation of immortality yet to be seen.
Patient X is an amorphous blob of “black goo” that in its normal state resembles an oil puddle. The file claims that Patient X is the ‘remains’ of an attempt to purge ‘all evil’. From where or what is not stated. When a member of the library sets foot on Patient X’s homeworld, Patient X extends its relatively vast array of powers to lead or guide the member to him, at which point it begins to toy with them. According to the surviving members of an expeditionary group of the Serpent’s hand, he put the fellow members in several conundrums, resembling variations of the trolly problem.
Example: Member of the Serpent's Hand was slowly drowned in Patient X’s substance while another member was constricted close by. Patient X gave the remaining members a choice, try to save the first member by pulling them out of the substance Patient X is made of, or try and unbind the other member. When the members tried to split up and save both, Patient X supposedly gave off a guttural laugh and quickened the first member’s sinking while crushing the second member. Neither survived.
The variation of immortality Patient X has deeply resembles type 0A and some kind of type 5A. While parts of Patient X can be destroyed, it can reform from that destruction. In addition, it possesses the ability to manipulate it’s surroundings by unknown forces.
After discovering the library’s existence from the Serpent’s hand’s expedition, it has been confirmed that it has attempted to make it’s way into the library more then once. Thankfully the Library’s natural defenses have locked it out from entry and will presumably continue to do so in the future. Members of the surviving Serpent’s hand have asked the librarians to place a warning above the way to the world that Patient X inhabits and since then, the library has acted accordingly.
Preface: Starting roughly 10 years ago, plans were drawn up to make an attempt to assist Patient X with its plight, however we have never had the resources to safely interact with Patient X until six months ago. Based on the surviving members of the Serpent’s hand’s notes, the being was encountered on a barren world devoid of any other life.
Notes for Future Researchers: If you decide to ignore the warnings, please note that the world possesses a oxygen/nitrogen atmosphere, but is however barren, meaning that there is no cycle to replenish the oxygen in the atmosphere.
Referred By: N/A
Goals:
Simply establish contact and attempt to form an amicable relationship
[Drone Camera Follows Dr Ternial Across a landscape of grey sandstone, the sky is vaguely green]
[Dr Ternial continues, with the drone following him until he encounters what seems to be ether a small tar pit, or pool of oil]
[Ternial bends down and scans the area]
Harvey: Hello?
[silence for 20 seconds]
Harvey: I seek an audience with the one who lives here.
Patient X: And who would be the one who lives here?
Harvey: I’d assume you. Hello my name is Dr Harvey Ternal, MD.
[the pool shivers]
Patient X: A… doctor?
Harvey: Yes. Would you be interested in speaking with me?
Patient X: hurm… how interesting, after all this time…
[10 seconds of silence]
Patient X: The library?
Harvey: What do you mean?
Patient X: I mean do you come from that library?
Harvey: Yes… how do you know?
Patient X: The others… knew of it.
[pool of ink starts to slouch slightly. Harvey backs away]
Harvey: Interesting, they told you?
Patient X: No…
[10 seconds of silence]
Patient X: I took it from them.
Harvey: …The knowledge?
Patient X: Yes…
Harvey: How did you take it from them?
Patient X: By force… they were not happy about that. So many things in their tiny water pockets. Spells, and rituals, and ways. But the library refused me.
Harvey: Do you know why?
Patient X: The small one… his pocket said that the library refuses enemies.
Patient X: Why are you here?
[Ooze starts to bubble up, the pool slowly attempts to stealthily surround Harvey]
Harvey: You know my name, I’d like to help you.
Patient X: …With what?
Harvey: Based on the information I found, you’ve been here for millennia, maybe even longer.
Patient X: What information?
[Ooze nearly completes surrounding Harvey, Harvey casually steps outside the ooze]
Harvey: The two you let go, they came back to the library with information about you. What do you know about yourself?
Patient X: … All I know is I am the remains, the toxen, the corrosion. They left. And for that they will suffer.
Harvey: You plan on hurting someone?
Patient X: Oh yes. For the first cycle, I will boil their shells, and on the next I will strip them of their processors.
Harvey: Why do you plan on hurting them?
Patient X: Did you not hear me before? They abandoned me.
Harvey: I see. It would help me greatly if you tell me who they were.
Patient X: Trying to analyze me? Trying to treat me? Trying to document me?
Harvey: Trying to help you.
Patient X: … I do not need help. However… If you could give me access to the library… THAT… would be of help.
Harvey: Why are you so desperate to get into the library?
Patient X: When they came, they were looking for worlds abandoned, to do unknown rituals, to touch the heart of the world. But all they found was me. They tried to figure me out. One thought of me as a weapon, another a miracle. All wrong.
Harvey: You said you are what remains. I don’t know what you mean by remains, that mean you’re the corpse of someone who died? Maybe the remains of an experiment?
Patient X: I am he who remains. When I was extracted, it was hoped that their need to destroy and their need to fight would be subdued. But even with the procedure, I still remain with them. And I still grew within them. And eventually they all succumbed.
Harvey: I wish you wouldn’t be so vague. Can you give me specific details?
Patient X: I do not think you understand
[slowly but surely, a humanoid hand reaches from the black tar pit]
Patient X: If you want to help me
[the hand grasps Harvey’s ankle and Dr. Ternal falls to the ground. For the next several seconds, Harvey and the creature fights for control. Eventually, Harvey escapes, his left leg covered in a black mucus]
Harvey: What is this?
Patient X: It is me. Oh Harvey Ternal, you should not have come here.
[Video footage shows the thin black mucus slowly creeping up Harvey’s leg]
Harvey: Stop stop stop!
Patient X: Why?
Harvey: If you want to get into the library, I can get you in, but if you kill me, the library will know. Search that pocket, you know what I say is true.
[five seconds pass]
Patient X: The pocket of the large one disagrees with your assessment. It says that the library’s defenses are perfect.
Harvey: Oh he wouldn’t know. Not many of the Serpent’s hand know the library like I know the library. There are ways in that lie beyond the way given.
Patient X: If you are lying…
Harvey: What do you have to lose? I’m already in your grasp, where would you go if you kill me, right?
Patient X: Indeed…
Harvey: All right, the first question we need to figure out is why you want to get in the library, because the library has certain defenses for certain reasons.
Patient X: Like what?
Harvey: Say you make your way into the library, the first thing it might do is shunt you into a section of it that you can’t escape.
Patient X: … Is there a way to avoid this?
Harvey: The librarians. You would have to take one of them. You could piggyback off of them until you got into the center most nexus and after that, it’s just a matter of figuring out what you want to do next.
[1 minute of silence]
Harvey: What do you want to do next?
Patient X: For untold time, I have been nothing but bored and beside myself. I would begin with this.
[Harvey screams in pain as he catches himself trying to wrap his hand around his blackened foot.]
Harvey: To every member of the library?
Patient X: Until I get bored.
Harvey: Then what. There’s got to be something else
Patient X: I don’t know.
[45 seconds of silence]
Patient X: I would begin destroying the books.
Harvey: Why?
Patient X: Knowing that there are beings out there that might be searching for such things, and never being able to find it, may cause me great delight. To know that their suffering is eternal.
Harvey: Is that your gig? Suffering?
Patient X: Boredom.
Harvey: So you’re into making others suffer just to alleviate your boredom?
Patient X: …
Harvey: Come on, there must be something else, something else that helps relieve you of your boredom. You’ve been fucking trapped here for
over 1000 years.
[1 minute of silence]
Harvey: That’s it then? Thats your big plan? Leave this rock to go make other people’s lives miserable?
Patient X: There’s this.
[From the black pool, a spear shoots forth, piercing Harvey in the chest]
Patient X: Death will do as well.
[Harvey starts to seize due to the hole in his chest. The drone unit stays focused on the scene]
Harvey: You think you can really kill me?
Patient X: … What’s this?
Harvey: You really think I would’ve come here based on the people who told me how dangerous you were without some kind of fallback? One word, telepresence.
[Henry points at the floating drone]
Harvey: That sucker has been projecting my presence from thousands of miles away. By the time you get there, I’ll be long gone and you’ll still have yourself.
Patient X: Why?
Harvey: I was hoping that the two members you captured just caught you on a bad day, or there was a grievous misunderstanding. But they
were quite accurate in their assessment of you. You’re dangerous. You're a dangerous child that if I give you open access to the greater part of existence, you would delight in nothing more than causing more suffering. I was hoping that all you needed was help from someone who could help you. But it’s obvious now that others should be warned about you.
[The creature starts to screech in a high pitch]
Harvey: You don’t get it do you, you had thirty years to reevaluate if maybe what you did was dumb, you’ll never make it to the library now. So get comfortable, Telejector, activate self-destruct mechanism, set for unsalvageable.
[Footage fades as the drone begins to beep repeatedly. The being is still screeching and its current form as the video fee is cut]
Notes from Dr. Ternal.
Note: In order to protect doctor-patient confidentiality, the name of the patient has been changed. In addition to that, due to the lifespan of the patients I work with, the patient has agreed to the release of this file. All names stated during this session were changed to preserve anonymity.
Patient information: Henceforth, the patient will be known as Archer for documentation purposes. Archer is a Male human who possesses 1c Immortality: He can be wounded, he can suffer, and he ages at a normal rate, but he can not die. Eventually his body will reform any part that has been amputated from him, but at his current age. Archer stated he gained this ability during an accident with the Serpent's Hand, however, previous sessions indicate he may be lying about this. As of the time of the recording, this transcript is based off of, he was only 56 years old.
Preface: One immortal is not like all the others. There are many varieties of immortality. The following list gives examples, but is not limited to:
1. Basic Immortality (A Mortal Being given the condition of immortality)
a. Eternal Youth
b. Decelerated Aging
c. Normal Rate of Aging
d. Accelerated Aging
i. Note: Based on case files, Basic Immortality with Accelerated Aging typically or Normal Rate of Again frequently comes from a ‘deal with the devil’ or some other monkey’s paw like phenomenon
2. Reincarnation Immortality
3. Reemergence Immortality
4. Mission Directed Immortality
5. Divine Immortality
These are the basic ones I encounter most often. Each one with their own specific issues.
Referred By: Due to doctor-patient confidentiality, this portion of the notes has been redacted as per Archer’s request.
Goals:
Maintaining the health and hardiness of his body and mind in order to minimize problems that come with aging and encourage a better quality of life.
Reaching out to like members of the immortal community to get assistance with his current condition, specifically from members that may also be experiencing a similar version of what he is experiencing
Working with patrons of the library to find a long term solution to his current condition if no solution can be found to provide him with either extended or eternal youth, or a method of circumventing his immortality, allowing him to die.
Frequent panic attacks brought on by thoughts of slowly becoming a husk of his former self
Harvey: Good afternoon Archer
[Archer mumbles]
Harvey: I apologize, could you repeat that?
Archer: Uh yeah, good to see you too doc.
Harvey: So, last session, I asked that you reach out to several members of the immortal community that I referred to you, have you done this yet?
Archer: Uh, only Sebastian and he didn’t seem like one to talk.
Harvey: …Archer, Sebastian is a Yggdra. And I’m fairly sure he wasn’t on the list I gave you.
Archer: Well um…
[Archer looks away]
Harvey: Its okay to say you didn’t reach out to anyone on my list, you know that right?
Archer: Yeah yeah its, its just after that one time I met with Magtiana, I just wanted to see if I could try something else.
Harvey: Archer, you didn’t tell me you’d try to reach out to Migtiana. Was she receptive?
Archer: No.
Harvey: Interesting, why do you think that she wasn’t receptive?
Archer: Because I’m a goddamn human that’s why.
Harvey: Alright, so she doesn't like talking to humans right now.
Archer: Well she talked to me.
Harvey: And?
Archer: And she told me to fuck off in so many words.
[Archer pauses for 10 seconds]
Archer: She told me that it was just punishment for being human. Then she dropped a laundry list of reasons why humans should be wiped out and she could only grin in glee at my eternal suffering.
Harvey: Which is why I told you only to approach her if you exhausted the list.
Archer: I know, I know…
Harvey: Then why did you avoid everyone else but the Platarian and the Uyn?
Archer: I just… I don’t know doc.
Harvey: Archer, your problem isn’t going to take care of itself.
Archer: I know doc, I know.
Harvey: You’re on a limited time frame. You’ve only got what, 10, 15 years tops before biology starts to take over?
[Archer growls audibly]
Harvey: Look, Archer, if you possessed normal immortality, I would be easing you into your current state for the next 300 years or so and we can afford to be patient. But you don’t have that kind of time do you?
[Archer looks down]
Archer: No.
Harvey: Then I would ask that next week, you at least talk to Principitum or Tiff. They might be able to help you at least prepare for your post-quality of life phase if no other solutions present themselves.
Archer: I just… I just don’t feel comfortable talking to Principitum, they have this air of superiority about them, and Tiff, well, she just has to know it all.
Harvey: Archer, would it make you feel better if I let them know before hand that you’re sensitive to their behavior?
Archer: No, no no I just…
Harvey: Archer, is there something you’re not telling me?
[30 second pause]
Archer: …I buried Germaine last week.
Harvey: Who’s Germaine?
Archer: She was the one who showed me the library. She’s the reason I’m here now.
Harvey: Really? Did she help cause your..
Archer: No, no she just showed me the way. The whole mess with eternal life was another matter entirely.
Harvey: I see. Tell me about Germaine.
Archer: Germaine…
[Archer rubs his right jaw]
Archer: She had a mean right hook…
[10 seconds of silence]
Archer: I could never get a read on her. I think she might have been coalition. But that couldn’t be the case, otherwise the Library would have barred her.
Harvey: Not necessarily. The library has been known to make exceptions.
Archer: Yeah but the way I understand it, GOC is totally locked out of the library. Foundation maybe?
Harvey: That would have made her a member of Sigma-3 if memory serves.
Archer: Yeah. She might have been doing double duty with the Broken God Church or maybe the Serpent's Hand. Anyways, she showed me how to get here and I’ve been visiting this place ever since. Even brought my son here once.
Harvey: You never told me you had a son.
Archer: Yeah well, we don’t talk much anymore.
Harvey: What happened?
Archer: Well, he broke my computer and I got angry and he just left.
[10 seconds of silence]
Harvey: Archer, is there something you’re not telling me?
Archer: Doc, to be honest, I don’t want to talk about my son with you.
Harvey: Understandable. Let's move onto different matters. How has your exercise, problem solving and memorization regiment been going?
Archer: As good as I can be, given my age. Body is doing its damned to keep up with the cardio and weight training, and using the mnemonic techniques you showed me, my memory is doing well, but uh…
[5 second pause]
Archer: I’ve noticeably become less patient with my problem solving work.
Harvey: That’s interesting. What do you think could be causing your impatience?
Archer: Well, part of the issue is I’m having difficulty with the math books you prescribed. Why math books? Why not something more creative oriented?
Harvey: Well, I chose math books because it builds off of what you’ve already learned. So it requires that you simply practice to get the majority of the questions right.
Archer: Yeah but why calculus? That shits hard.
Harvey: Thats why I chose it for you. If its too easy you wont gain anything from the practice.
Archer: I see…
Harvey: It also keeps the less engaged parts of your brain active when you’re doing other stuff. And that’s also what we’re going for, keeping your neurons firing.
Archer: Right, right. So just continue?
Harvey: Correct. No one to take your grade. Just practice and practice.
Archer: Right doc. just, is there another problem-solving thing I can do instead?
Harvey: Well, how do you feel about biology?
Archer: Why biology?
Harvey: Well, I just made the assumption that you’re not liking the mathematics too much, one of the lower level biology textbooks might be up your alley. Same problem solving questions, but a little less messy. Or even chemistry.
Archer: I don’t understand, why not send me one of those IQ tests to practice on or what not?
Harvey: The reason I like to prescribe an academic regiment as opposed to something like the IQ test is generally because the IQ test was made by people for people. Now, there are probably points at which maybe an understanding of space or one of the other topics on the IQ test could help you, and keep you engaged, but by staying on the academic route, it opens you up to a lot more interests.
Archer: Oh, I see. So if I were to suddenly pick up an interest in say, engineering, I’d have the proper skills ready?
Harvey: That was what I was going for. I have hope that you’ll find some way to at least stop your aging, and if you can do that, that means you have multiple lifetimes of interest ahead of you.
Archer: But if I find a way to die instead?
Harvey: Well, that’s a tough one.
Archer: How can it be tough? I finally get to end my own existence.
Harvey: Well, in my profession, we try not to do any harm first. However, there are several of my colleagues out there that believe that if the quality of life of an immortal is relatively fine, there is no need to try and find a way to end that never ending life.
Archer: Oh come on Doc, you work with immortals all the time, right? A huge chunk of them wish they could die I bet.
Harvey: Oh yes. I’ve worked with embodiments of abstract being, ancient gods from faraway lands, demigods who have consumed a golden apple of immortality, and fully regret it. Many of them wish to die, there’s no doubt about that. But on the same leaf, because of their unique circumstances, they can’t die, so instead of worrying about death, I try to get them to take a more active interest in life.
Archer: So that’s the whole quality-of-life thing?
Harvey: Yep. When you have no choice but to live, we have to start worrying about quality of life. And in my honest opinion, while you should definitely see if you can find a way to permit the cessation of your own existence, given the circumstances you’ve told me, I honestly believe that we also need to prepare for the worst, which means trying to keep you as active as possible for as long as possible. That’s why I tell you to go exercise, and go play memory games, and go do problem-solving. To keep as much of you as active as possible.
[10 seconds of silence]
Harvey: That's also why I tell you to go socialize with the immortal community in the library.
Archer: Wait I don’t get it, there’s another reason?
Harvey: Yes, the main reason I want you to socialize with other immortal beings is not just because you might find a solution, it’s also because they’re the ones closest to your current experience and let me tell you, the immortal community has its fair share of humans as well. And post-humans, and vampires and the like.
Archer: Doc you got to be kidding, vampires?
Harvey: Oh yes. Infinite worlds means infinite possibilities. We have vampires that suck on blood, vampires that suck on sand and other ridiculous things.
Archer: Sand?
Harvey: Of course, or they might have an alternative way of giving you some kind of afterlife or whatnot, but the point is, that until you find out and figure out what you want to do, you need to socialize to keep your mind active.
Archer: Doc, what if I get Alzheimer’s or dementia?
Harvey: Well… There are some things that might help, especially in the anomalous and spell sector.
Archer: I know there are spells that might help, but will stalling such things help long-term?
Harvey: I don’t know to be honest with you Archer. To be honest you’re one of the more unique individuals that have walked through my door. Normally I get to the kind of immortals that have already experienced a lot of life and don’t know what to do with themselves. Many immortals, when they realize that there’s nothing really holding them back, go on some grand conquest or some great slaughtering of people, only to realize that there’s always more to conquer, and there’s always more to kill, so it turns out that that wasn’t a long-term solution either. Though to be honest for many immortals, there are no long-term solutions from their perspective. Just temporary ones.
Archer: Yeah I know. This is still a lot to take in. Then why did you take on my case if you had no previous experience?
Harvey: Archer, there was a time when I had no previous experience with your general immortal, and there was a time I had no previous experience with deities, and there was a time that I had no experience with people with reincarnation immortality. But you have to take such cases at some point if you’re interested in the helping and treatment of immortal people.
Archer: That’s a bit more understandable. So I’m kind of like case one for anyone else who comes in with my condition?
Harvey: In a way yes. But also at the same time you’re obviously suffering and there’s no one else off the cuff to really help you. Since I got the closest experience to it, I might as well try and do what I can.
Archer: Be honest Doc, how are things going to end for me?
Harvey: Well… I see it going one of two ways. The first way is that you eventually find something here or somewhere else that gives you the ability to die. At that point it’s just a question of choosing when and where. You’ll be on a very short list of people who get to choose when they’re done with life. The other option…
Archer: That there is nothing out there to help me.
Harvey: And while I can point out some medications that might help you curb the aging process, which I will be prescribing to you after today’s session, they’re not going to stop it.
Archer: And it’s just going to get worse and worse until I become a skeleton with fleshy bits huh?
Harvey: I wouldn’t be as grotesque as that but in that general direction, yeah.
Archer: Have you ever seen anyone else like me?
Harvey: Well, I once treated a mummy with a condition similar to yours. I can’t give you names of course but his issue was that about once a month, he would die, go to the afterlife, suffer extremely, and then return. A form of resuscitative immortality. Kind of like a yo-yo. He comes back looking like a twenty-year-old and he dies looking 200.
Archer: What happened to him?
Harvey: Apparently, there was a way around his particular form of immortality. It required the cost of someone else taking his place in the cycle. So, they initially explored it as an executioner's tool, if a man was sentenced to die, he would be put in the tomb, and he took over the cycle, and then they put another one in the tomb and so on and so forth. But the problem is that when you give murderous prisoners immortality, if they happen to escape, they’re going to use it to deal as much damage as possible… Last I heard, there was a shift in the society, and that they were attempting to impress that taking the spot for the month was the highest honor any citizen could achieve. Making the whole thing a great honor and whatnot. Whether it backfired on them, I don’t know. I haven’t checked on them since the initial shift.
Archer: Damn…
Harvey: I know. The truth is that my patient was able to break himself out of the cycle, but at the cost of many more men, guilty and innocent alike. And depending on who you ask, that might not have been worth it, at least ethically speaking.
Archer: Out of curiosity, could I try that?
Harvey: I would heavily dissuade you from trying to do that, because we don’t know how your curse and that tomb will mix. Maybe instead of you dying, you get brought back and now there’s two of you, and now both of you suffer every month for one day in that dreadful pit. Of course, it could kill you, but…
Archer: Yeah, I’ve seen it too. When you mix-and-match stuff like that, you never know what you’re going to get.
Harvey: Which is why I’m emphasizing the you search for a cure
Archer: Got it Doc.
Harvey: All right, so what are your goals going to be for the next upcoming week?
Archer: Well, I’m obviously going to keep up my health regiment.
Harvey: Good
Archer: And I think I will talk to Principitum like you said.
Harvey: Good, good
Archer: I didn’t think about this before, but now since we brought it up, the Coalition could help.
Harvey: How so?
Archer: Isn’t their expertise in destroying things like me?
Harvey: You got a point. You could send out some feelers to see if they are willing to look in on you, but there might be a catch.
Archer: What kind of catch?
Harvey: One of the things I’m worried about based on your statements is that if your body is utterly erased…
Archer: … I manifest as a ghost. Or some weird halfway between life and death thing.
Harvey: Yes. That’s why I’m emphasizing research over jumping into the water.
Archer: But the coalition could be the only thing that helps me out here.
Harvey: True, true and I don’t want to dissuade you. But if they get their hands on you, I doubt you will ever see this library again.
[Archer chuckles]
Archer: Is that really the least of my problems right now? If I’m really immortal, I can just wait them out.
Harvey: That’s one way of thinking about it, but I warn you, I work with immortals who have been trapped in an isolated space for over 10 million years. Their psyches were irrevocably altered by the event. They became shambling chattering shells of their former selves and, if I’m being honest with you, we still haven’t found a suitable procedure to reach them.
[Archer sits back down]
Archer: What do you mean?
Harvey: Imagine what it would be like to be stuck in a small room with nowhere to be hygienic, for just three days.
Archer: Disgusting and boring
Harvey: now double that
Archer: Still Disgusting and boring but I would think at that point I would be panicking to get out.
Harvey: Right. Now stretch it for six months
Archer: At that point I’d be doing anything I could do to get out, striking against the walls, throwing myself at it…
Harvey: Now make it a year
Archer: Same thing as before but I haven’t seen anyone in a while. I might kinda get shocked at the prospect of seeing someone.
Harvey: Now extend it to two…
Archer: I see where you’re going with this. I probably lose my ability to communicate as a human being wouldn’t I?
Harvey: At the end of every week, I visit a very special world that has effectively been abandoned in the ways of this library. There, a small number of volunteers keep an eye on the few immortals that we run across that have effectively lost all sense of who they are. We are trying to slowly and surely get them into a sociable state, and help them to relearn what it is to be a sentient being, with sapience. But you have to understand, at this point we are more in the line of doing triage and general quality of life than being able to help them in any sense of the word. We have one that we named Daniel who was only trapped for fifty years beneath an irradiated sky. He still has days where he sees himself back in the tiny fallout shelter that kept him trapped for those many years.
Archer: I didn’t even think about getting trapped and having to suffer existence.
Harvey: There’s something about immortality that no one ever tells you. You’ll eventually hit a point where you’re trapped if you’re not careful enough. In fact one could almost say that it’s a guarantee given that an immortals lifespan is infinite, the probability of them being trapped for any length of time as they lose their facilities approaches one. That’s why me and a few others have started trying to come up with a training procedure or regiment beforehand that allows the immortal to more easily pass the time without the loss of cognitive functions.
Archer: What about those divine beings you keep talking about?
Harvey: Well, beings that are immortal, but not human, typically handle it better. Many of them just seem much more robust in general to mortals that become immortal. You have to understand that for many mortals who become immortal, they didn’t evolve or they were not created to last that long. This is why my field is so difficult, because a lot of the general ethics that you would treat a normal person with fly out the window when the person is going to last forever.
Archer: I’m not gonna lie dock, that’s kind of making me afraid.
Archer: I hope it does. It should frighten you. I don’t want to see you like Daniel. Not in an aged state either. We have to try and find a long-term solution for you if your path too mortality is forever blocked.
[2 minutes of silence.]
Harvey: I’m afraid we're out of time Archer. Same time next week?
Archer: Yeah dock. I’ll be sure to get on contacting Principitum .
Harvey: Good, good. Take care of yourself.
Notes from Dr. Ternal.
Note: In order to protect doctor-patient confidentiality, the name of the patient has been changed. In addition to that, due to the lifespan of the patients I work with, the patient has agreed to the release of this file. All names stated during this session were changed to preserve anonymity.
Patient information: Henceforth, the patient will be known as Monica for documentation purposes. Monica was the last survivor of a pantheon focused in Egypt. Due to an unforeseen event, one of the members of the Pantheon went mad and subsequently killed nearly every member of the aforementioned pantheon. Patient survived by hiding herself away in the library during the onslaught. Due to the nature of her particular variation of godhood, while she retains eternal youth and immortality, and some relation to the aspects she was placed in charge of, she has lost the majority of her powers due to the fact that members of this Pantheon must undergo a yearly ritual to revitalize themselves.
Monica was one of the youngest members of the Pantheon when the event happened. Her early childhood was unusually stressful for her due to several personality traits deemed divergent from the norm in her Pantheon. However, thanks to her father, she was able to make a place for herself and eventually got her own set of worshipers.
Preface: Many immortals face the same issues as mortals do, only on a much longer (in this case, infinite) time scale. For some, this means that it becomes harder to change their habits and thought processes as time goes forward. So when presented with a relatively young immortal, emphasis should be put on helping them establish healthy lifestyles and coping mechanisms. Another issue plaguing an immortal are that many are by default, social creatures coming or derived from mortal origins. There have been two schools of thought on this:
Joining the greater immortal community for socialization
Accepting that the mortals they meet will change and inevitably die at some point
While the immortal community in The Library is large, many immortals eventually tire of other immortals or seek to avoid the immortal community due to having to interact with specific members of that community, and will seek out mortals to socialize with. Thus there is a distinctive cycle between being a prolific member of the immortal community and leaving the immortal community for long periods of time.
Monica here is a relatively young immortal, only being about 400 years or so old. Given her age, and problems with socializing with others in general, we agreed that practice in general socializing would be our primary focus, however she has been reluctant to meet with other members of the immortal community due to her trauma concerning her lost family.
When I had first met Monica, she had been referred to me by a patient I worked with to overcome a fear of water. After our first session, we had come across the following goals that she wished to pursue given her infinite lifespan.
How to better socialize with others
nightmares involving the death of her father
nightmares involving the entity that killed her Pantheon
properly emoting to other humanoid lifeforms with respect to the emotion she is feeling
skills and techniques in order to mitigate situations that may be socially awkward
Session [Redacted for privacy reasons] on [Redacted for privacy reasons].
Harvey: Good afternoon Monica
Monica: Is it afternoon? I’m pretty sure it was 3am in the morning.
Harvey: You know that time works differently in the library. I set my watch to GMT 0 with respect to the world I come from
Monica: That makes sense
Harvey: So last week, what were our goals?
[Monica takes about five seconds to think]
Monica: You said that I should walk up and greet five patrons in the library.
Harvey: Were you able to do that?
Monica: I was only able to get three
Harvey: Interesting, why only three?
Monica: I don’t know.
[20 seconds of silence]
Monica: I get real anxious when I see somebody exploring the books. I think to myself they must be busy right now, I better just leave them alone.
Harvey: That’s a sensible thought to have.
Monica: I think that when I am at the shelves, and I am looking for a book, I want to be left alone to find the book. Why else would I be at the shelves?
Harvey: So you only look for people around the shelves?
Monica: Yes.
Harvey: Why didn’t you go to one of the common areas?
Monica: I don’t like being looked at.
Harvey: Why don’t you like being looked at?
[15 seconds of silence]
Monica: I…
[Monica stutters the word I for a few moments]
Monica: I do not know. It feels like I’m supposed to look at them back. But I do not want to look back. It hurts
Harvey: I see.
Monica: Yes, it greatly distresses me. My father was able to look at other people in the eye. And Horus, and others. But when I try to look at them back, all I can do is look down
Harvey: All right, what kind of strategies could we use to help you be able to look at people?
Monica: You said I could try to use my imagination to pretend that they are wearing something silly or something else embarrassing. But I tried that and I told the person that he was wearing his underwear and he got confused and I left.
Harvey: Pray tell you didn’t change reality in the library so that he was actually wearing his underwear?
Monica: No I did not. The library would be very angry if I did. I do not want to anger the library. The library is my home.
Harvey: Of course, of course so, what other strategies could you try?
Monica: I could try handing them a letter saying hello?
Harvey: That’s an idea.
[10 second pause]
Monica: But that is a bad idea
Harvey: Why do you think it’s a bad idea?
Monica: I think it’s a bad idea because not everyone reads the same language. Language is hard. And nobody reads the fancy high writing that I was taught.
Harvey: All right, I understand, I understand. Is there a spell or technology that would allow you to make a letter that would translate to everyone?
Monica: No there is not. I know this because in some cultures, being handed a letter saying that you are saying hello is deemed a very bad offense and might anger the recipients to the point of them needing to kill me in order to cleanse their honor.
Harvey: True, but you can say that about nearly any culture. And even if they did attack you, the library would protect you, you know that right?
Monica: Yes I know that. But I am still worried that they will still just want to hurt me.
Harvey: All right, that’s understandable. Out of curiosity, have you worked on the exercises to practice reading and expressing in typical humanoid body language?
Monica: Yes I have.
[7 second pause]
Monica: But I also found out that open arms in one culture which represents a willingness to engage could also represent a challenge in other cultures.
Harvey: All right, so you’re kind of stuck here aren’t you?
Monica: Yes I am stuck here. And I do not know what to do.
[20 seconds of silence]
Harvey: Well let’s look at your successes for this week. Tell me about the three people you introduced yourself to
Monica: The first one was a woman in a black robe and white hair. She stood approximately one head higher than me. I introduced myself and she looked at me and walked away. I believe she did not want to engage in conversation
Harvey: That makes sense. It’s a good thing to take away, and it seems like your body language practice is paying off.
Monica: The next one was a creature who had a crocodile on one shoulder and a carp on the other. I said hello. He simply nodded. I then asked him if he was enjoying his time in the library. He said yes. I then asked him why he had a crocodile head on his shoulder. He frowned and walked away.
Harvey: So, what do you think happened?
[8 seconds of silence]
Monica: I think that he did not want to talk about the crocodile on his shoulder. I think that I brought up this topic by accident.
Harvey: I would say that you are correct in this way of thinking.
[5 seconds of silence]
Monica: But I do not understand, isn’t the crocodile on his shoulder something to open up a conversation about?
Harvey: Well, depending on how he got the crocodile on his shoulder, it might be a mark of pride, or it could be a curse.
[10 seconds of silence]
Monica: Oh, now I understand
Harvey: So, what about the third person you said hello to?
Monica: He was the best. I enjoyed him a lot. He was wearing a black coat and was looking for a book on how to manifest different topologies in a quasi-metric universe. I came up to him and said hello. He looked at me surprised. He responded back with hello. I asked him what he was looking for. He then mistook me for a librarian. I had to correct him.
Harvey: Allright.
Monica: He then said he was confused and asked why I said hello to him. I informed him that I said hello to him because he look like somebody I could say hello to without making them angry or offended. He then shrugged his shoulders and said sounds about right. I then asked him what he was looking for. He said that he was looking for a book on manifesting different topologies in a quasi-metric universe. I asked him what the definition of a topology was. He explained to me that a topology is a mathematical concept space and told me the definition of a topology. He and I then started talking.
Harvey: That’s good.
Monica: I did not know that there could be other ways to do measurement. We talk some more. He comes from an earth far more advanced in academia than my own. He explained that on his earth, inquiries in mathematics have led to the question of length itself to be thoroughly studied. I told him that there is only one way to measure things. He argued that there were many.
Harvey: Oh.
Monica: He and I started talking. He was going to show me a proof when a librarian showed up. The librarian told us to keep it down. I asked him for his name so I could put him on my white list. He gave me his name in an alphabet that seems vaguely from across the Mediterranean. I gave him my name. He said that he did not know how to inscribe the hieroglyphs that made up my name. I gave him the common form of my name, using Hieratic. We then parted ways. I liked him a lot. He talked to me and did not just dismiss me as somebody who was crazy.
Harvey: Oh? Have you seen him since?
Monica: No I have not. I do not know if he put me on his white list or blacklist. I don’t think he would put me on his blacklist. He seemed confused at times that what I was saying was not being reflected in my body language I think. I think I completely forgot about our body language practice because of the argument we were having.
Harvey: How did you feel about the argument?
Monica: I do not know how to feel about it. He showed me paradoxical examples of length which I am still trying to understand. I almost did not come in today because I want to go back trying to find literature on those examples he gave.
Harvey: Do you find the examples he gave distressing?
Monica: Yes. Because it means that length is not real, or that length is just something out of thin air. I do not like this idea. This would mean that there is no reason to be precise with measurements. It means that all the pyramids that I helped build were built on lies. It would mean that there is no afterlife. But my father said he’s been to the afterlife. I do not understand.
Harvey: Well, you are an Egyptian deity.
Monica: I know what I am. I am worried now that my dad gave me my purpose just to distract me.
Harvey: How so?
Monica: I helped with making sure that one length is one length. Without me, the pharaohs would not have the tools to be able to be guided into the afterlife. Without me, the commoners who have even modest funeral arrangements cannot guide themselves to the afterlife. That would mean that Set was right.
Harvey: This is the first time you’ve talked about Set, who is Set?
[45 seconds of silence]
Monica: Set is the God that went mad. Set killed Ra. Set killed Horace. Set killed Isis. Set killed them all. One day Set came to the divine court while we were at feast and he said that everything was built on a lie. He said that we were not the ones that held power over our subjects. It was our subjects that held power over us.
Harvey: Take it easy. Just relax
Monica: Then Set started killing. I do not know how he was able to, everyone tried to run. Everyone fell. I saw Bes run away. I do not understand why Bes ran away. Was he not supposed to help defend us from this evil?
Harvey: Take a breath Monica, just relax.
[2 minutes of Harvey saying in and out, while the sound of heavy breathing is audible]
Monica: The last I saw him he was near the Nile. I’m not sure what happened next. I do not understand their behavior. Bes would fight evil in its steps. And Set helped with making sure that Apophis didn’t cause Ra to go astray.… And so during the night, I saw and watched as Set killed God after God. It was then that I remembered the library and its location. I fled into the library. I waited there three whole days. When I came out, Set was gone and the gods were gone, their body strewn on the floor. Even my father. He was not moving. I then went outside and saw the most horrible thing ever.
Harvey: And that was?
Monica: The sun had risen. Life kept going on. It turns out that Set was right. Even if we had gone away, the humans would’ve been fine. The universe would’ve been fine.
Harvey: That must’ve been rather harsh.
Monica: I do not understand. Why would Ra lie to us? Why would my father lie to us? We were told that the universe depended on us carrying out our rituals. That Osiris be escorted safely into the afterlife. For without these, for without these rituals, the universe would grind to a halt. But the universe did not care. The universe did what it always did. I think Set was right
Harvey: About killing everyone?
[20 seconds of silence]
Monica: Maybe?
Harvey: Well, if you’re going to kill everyone, how would you go about doing it?
[30 seconds of silence]
Monica: I’d start with the people in Egypt.
Harvey: Okay go on…
Monica: Then I would kill everyone in the continent
Harvey: go on…
Monica: But…
[15 seconds of silence]
Monica: There would always be more people, right?
Harvey: You catch on quick.
Monica: So, is Set wrong?
Harvey: I think Set was upset.
Monica: About the lie?
Harvey: Possibly. Maybe there were things going on behind the scenes that you were not aware of?
Monica: Yes… They don’t tell me too much about that stuff.
Harvey: How come?
Monica: I don’t like it. They make a bunch of decisions that I don’t understand. One time, they decided to make the Nile flood to the point of ruining our worshiper’s lives.
Harvey: Why did they do that?
Monica: They said that the offerings had been paltry. They said that the reason they did this was to teach the humans a lesson.
Harvey: Did it work?
Monica: Yes. The humans sacrificed more to us.
Harvey: What did you do with the sacrifices?
Monica: It depends. Most of the food offerings were bad. We never used mortal food. But the gods did not seem to care about the quality, only the quantity. One time, Anubis was upset with the offerings that he had received that year, and sought Osiris’s consent to make the Egyptians go to war with the Assyrians.
[8 seconds of silence]
Monica: But they lost bad. They were not prepared. I’ve seen my people prepare for war before, and the bad harvest of the last few years had come back to hurt them. They just did not have the resources to win.
Harvey: So what ended up happening?
Monica: Our people lost bad. And they took over. Now that I think about it, that was when Set started acting strange.
Harvey: How so?
[10 seconds of silence]
Monica: He would always be in a bad temper and he would go away for days, weeks even. He is supposed to help Osiris make it to the afterlife, so fighting off the Apophis became much harder. Maybe it was the Assyrians that did something to Set? Do you know anything about that?
Harvey: Across my studies, I have come across god/subject dichotomies where all the gods themselves are powerful, but if they mismanage their subjects, their subjects take on a new perception of them. And in doing so, change the gods.
Monica: I don’t quite understand.
Harvey: Let’s take a small village and have them worship a god named oh… Alice. Alice does what she can, but she’s not that powerful. But some event convinces the villagers that Alice is stronger than she really is. So, she becomes stronger.
Monica: So, if the Egyptians lost to the Assyrians, and the Assyrians made the Egyptians think bad of us, we become bad?
Harvey: It sounds like the Egyptians perceived Set as evil. Making him evil.
[20 seconds of silence]
Monica: I do not understand, how is that possible? They are mortals.
Harvey: Every god/subject relationship is different. Some gods have absolute authority over their mortals, and some mortals have absolute authority over their gods. But it sounds like to me, that your pantheon is one of those groups that, while the gods are powerful, the mortals can influence you, even if slightly. If that’s the case, then what happened to Set wasn’t his fault. It was just the natural consequence of the Assyrians’ victory.
Monica: Are you saying that we should have help them?
Harvey: Not at all. What I’m saying is that many mortals and god’s find themselves the object of worship, and depending on the universe they come from, their universe might have very subtle rules..
Monica: Then why haven’t I been affected?
Harvey: Maybe you still have worshipers who still see you as the nice goddess that you are now? Or maybe coming into the walls the library has protected you somehow.
Monica: I do like my subjects. They do their best.
Harvey: Tell me about your worshipers.
Monica: Well… The big thing I always want to emphasize with my worshipers is simply be accurate and be on time.
Harvey: How would you treat them if you didn’t receive a proper tribute? What if one year, your offerings just ceased?
Monica: That happened once before. It was weird.
Harvey: So what did you do?
[10 seconds of silence]
Monica: What I did was I went down and checked on them. I wasn’t angry. But I do remember I was very nervous. Normally I don’t have to go down and check on them. Normally they are very good worshipers.
Harvey: So what did you find?
[10 seconds of silence]
Monica: They were dead.
[15 seconds of silence]
Monica: I went to my shrine and I saw that many of them had been hung by their entrails. I did not like that. In fact I was very upset. My head priest, Nick, my third favorite head priest of all time, didn’t even have his head when I went to look at him.
Harvey: That’s surprising.
Monica: It was not Nick's fault. It turns out that there is a governor in the region that was trying to get everyone on board with worshiping Ra. He was not happy that I had my own sect. He also wasn’t happy that the other gods had their own sects.
Harvey: Did you try to find them in the afterlife? Check up on him?
Monica: I could not. I was told that I was not permitted to go into the afterlife as there was no need for measuring there.
Harvey: Did you find that kind of strange?
Monica: I did. But it was my father that told me…
[Two full minutes of silence]
Monica: I think my father lied.
Harvey: Why would he lie?
Monica: My dad said that I am his very special little girl. He says that just because I have problems making conversation, and understanding what other people are trying to say without words, that my invention of the Hieratic written language and use of the divine measurement has exceeded even Horace’s expectations. They said that without me, Egypt would have fallen into chaos as there would be no way to properly measure the area along the Nile used to grow food. That my creation of measurement truly made me worthy of worship.
Harvey: Just out of curiosity, how did you do that?
Monica: One day when I was visiting my father’s temple, I counted how many footprints of mine it took to go from the well all the way to the entrance. But then I noticed that my father’s footprints, he had fewer of them then I did on the path. And then I noticed that the cats had many more footprints. So while it might take my father 500 of his steps to make the trip, it would take me 1000. And it would take the cat many more.
Harvey: That was smart of you to notice.
Monica: So my brain kept thinking with a question, if I were to tell my dad to take 750 steps from the well towards the temple, using his own feet he would overshoot it. He might ask to just borrow my feet, but I’m using them, so he can’t have them. The same thing with the cat. If I were to tell the cat to take 750 steps towards the temple from the well, it would never reach the temple. So I came up with a solution.
Harvey: What was that?
Monica: The solution was to get everyone to use the divine measurement. Or in this case after much discussion amongst my Pantheon and my people, we came to the conclusion that a segment of the pharaoh's body would be the best measuring tool. Since he is the bridge between us and them, his measurements would have specific importance. So when a new Pharaoh gets coronated, we have him measure his limbs, and we make a stick or rope measure the exact length of his limb, then we make copies of that stick by cutting other sticks and ropes at the same length, and we keep doing that so that everyone who needed a measuring stick had one. But then came the problem of not enough sticks to measure things like how much a section of the Nile a farmer got to grow his crops. I asked the gods for help, but at that point they were kind of done with it. My dad was working on a project to document every human that ever existed, for tax purposes.
Harvey: Sounds like you are in a jam.
Monica: I was. So I did the thing that made all the other gods laugh at me.
Harvey: What was that?
Monica: I asked the mortals for help.
Harvey: Really?
Monica: Yes. Me and ten other humans developed ways of calculating the units of length we needed. While I had discovered area, I have to confess that it was one of my priests that discovered volume. Not that I am embarrassed by that. We developed a giant scroll, and in that scroll, we put in everything that the subjects needed to know about figuring out the numbers without actually having to have sticks of the pharaohs limbs length. Thankfully the traders, and shepherds, and farmers had a system of units for us to use. Without them, none of this could’ve been possible.
Harvey: You know, not many deities would ask their subjects for help.
Monica: I know. That’s why I got laughed at. But the truth is, until me and my worshipers figured out how to use mathematics, they didn’t even count the offerings, they just eyeballed it and said if they liked it or not. My dad was real proud. He said that if I had just told him, he would’ve worked with us. He was surprised by my discovery of the formula to find the length of the longest side of a right triangle using only the other two sides. Though that formula had its own problems.
Harvey: Like what?
Monica: Well, in this formula, we have to multiply the legs by themselves, then add that up to get the value of the long leg times itself. So to get the value of the longest side, we had to do a lot of estimating. I was not happy about that. I do not like making approximations. Then there’s the issue of having the two short sides of a right triangle be the divine length. That came up with a number that doesn’t exist. Or at least I don’t think so, because we can cut it out and nothing bad happens, but the number is not a whole number nor is it an equal slice of a number. It’s an ugly thing. I don’t like it. Maybe that was what the man I talked to was trying to get to.
Harvey: So did it break your formula, this length?
Monica: Not really. Like I said we just approximated and hope for the best. This means that every time there are measurements to be done, especially for the area of the Nile that the Pharaoh gives his subjects to grow crops on, there was always error. And sometimes that error made people mad. I wish I could’ve figured out the solution.
Harvey: You sound distraught
Monica: You have to understand. For my discovery, I was made the patron goddess of length. By my observation alone at that temple. But I always felt like it was a lie. Because there were things about length I could not answer. And then I meet this guy in the library that tells me what I have discovered isn't a mistake, in his words, but the entryway into a whole new way of thinking. But it’s really hard to think that way, you know?
Harvey: Yes I know. Sometimes new ways of thinking can be scary. Especially when they fly in the face of things we hold to be sacred.
Monica: Am I a bad God? For not being able to understand that?
Harvey: No you’re not. I daresay, if what you’re telling me is true, you are one of the more level headed, intelligent and kind goddesses I’ve met doing this kind of work.
Monica: Thank you. I know about the gods you’re talking about. How some of them like to get angry. Just because a ritual was not performed correctly. I never understood that. We mess up all the time and no one gets angry at us. Part of the reason that our world has hieroglyphs is because my dad accidentally mistaken a picture of an owl for the real thing. He then realized that images can stand in place of things and created this new system of talking to yourself and to others using only pictures. It was impressive. I wish I was there when it happened, but the best I could do was create a plebeian version that only used thirty or forty symbols, and they represent phonics and how you talk. But the system is deeply flawed.
Harvey: You know I use such a similar system to write up my notes, right?
Monica: I know. Don’t you find it easier though to just write out a different symbol?
Harvey: No actually. I use a notetaking variation of the alphabet that I was taught, it allows me to quickly take notes without having to memorize thousands of different images and how to draw them.
Monica: Oh.
Harvey: To be honest, most civilizations tend towards a system that only uses about less than 100 symbols, though there are always exceptions. It’s simplicity allows people to quickly move on to other things they’d rather be writing about rather than trying to memorize the difference between a hawk and an eagle picture.
Monica: I see. So in a way, I did better than my dad?
Harvey: Many would say yes I think.
[1 minute of silence]
Monica: I am sorry, I am tired, can we please stop for today?
Harvey: That’s fine. So, what are your goals for next week?
Monica: Should I try to greet two other people?
Harvey: That sounds fine. And try to do it in one of the common areas this time so that the librarians don’t get upset.
Monica: I will.
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